I feel small, when he criticizes me

1. I welcome this feeling. Naran: Can you release this feeling of being small? Raji: Yes.

2. I release the feeling of looking small. Naran: What happens when he criticizes you? Do you think that your husband is trying to control you? Raji: Yes.

3. I release the belief that my husband is trying to control me. Naran: What is your reaction when he criticizes you? Raji: Inwardly, I just criticize and wanting to resist him. Naran: What is the criticism? Raji: Idiot! You never understand me. You need to be tortured in your office and so on. Welcome these thoughts and release them.

4. I release the thought “You never understand me.” I release the thought, “You need to be tortured.”

5. I welcome that I resist him.

6. I let go of wanting to resist him. Naran: Resisting means you want to change the person. Welcome and release the desire to control or change him.

7. I welcome my desire to control him.

8. I release my desire to change him. Repeat. Naran: Can you accept him as he is? Raji: No. Naran: Then release this desire to change him again. Raji: My anger is terrible. I cannot go further.  I am stuck up.

9. Welcome it and release it. Naran: If you hold on to this anger, you will have same situations repeated differently on different days. Because what you focus will invite the same energy and thus same situations. You can say the following and find out whether you can go further deep: “This is how God has made him. I need not correct God”. “I just allow him to be as he is. Let me be also as I am”. Naran: What else did you feel when the person is around you? Raji: I feel insecure and feel threatened. Welcome this feeling.

10. I welcome that I feel unsafe and insecure. Release it.

11. I release the feeling of insecurity. I release my wanting to have more security. Naran: Repeat and see what happens. Are you feeling safe now? Why should you feel threatened and unsafe? Just ponder over this question. May be, you feel safe to some extent. Then do the releasing again. If you still feel unsafe, you are intimating to the other person you are powerless. This will further increase the fearful events. Repeat the releasing till you feel safe or till you get a sense of well being. Raji: When my husband or anybody criticizes me unnecessarily I feel I am rejected; I am insulted. Naran:  That means you have a desire for his approval. Raji: Yes. I always do things to please him. I am careful not to make him angry. All my actions are there to please him or to escape from his disapproval. Naran: Welcome your desire for approval and release.

12. I welcome this desire for approval.

13. I release this desire for approval. Repeat. Raji leaves Naran with a feeling of calm and composure. That’s the advantage of doing living with awareness exercises. It leaves you with a sense of bliss and gives you a renewed strength and confidence to handle your problems.